WINNING CHILD CUSTODY (not really)Everyone in a bad divorce wants to know, “How can I win custody?” Simply; you cannot. Winning child custody is a position, not a solution. Custody is not about winning or losing, but doing what is in the best interests of your children. Winning child custody can be achieved through an agreement in which both parents can continue to be consistently and predictably involved with their children. The research, the scientific community at large and common sense tells us this is what is best. 
However, I also know there are parents who are simply not committed to being parents, or are not able to be parents because of a long-term drug use, or other criminal and psychological problems. In the same context, parents who are abusive may not be appropriate parents in the short or long term. So, how do you deal with these nasty situations in custody battles? Beyond your statements, your information has to be credible. Which looks more credible: Telling about your college graduation, or showing your diploma with the raised seal? The diploma, of course. The same applies to issues of unsafe parenting. Winning Child Custody, however you define that, is not easy. But you can improve your chances for a better outcome for your children if you or your children are truly in an unsafe situation that is harmful to them. The first step to improve your situation is to identify the problems, and determine how those problems affect your children. You may want to say how the problems affect you, but the primary concerns are about the children, and that’s where the focus has to lie. Secondly, unless it can be shown that the other parent’s functioning is potentially neglectful or harmful, it is very unlikely that anything you say or show will make a substantial long term change in the custody outcome. So the final questions to consider are: 1. Is the other parent unfit? 2. Can you demonstrate that with neutral, factual information? 3. How long is the present problem likely to last? |