Parental AlienationParental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) has been written about historically as a syndrome by Richard Gardner. It is better understood now as dynamic psychological phenomenon with many interacting causes, and not simply one parent interfering with the relationship of the other parent. It has recently been submitted for consideration as a diagnosis in DSM-V. Another way to look at parental alienation is to look at the behaviors that are associated with the phenomenon, both from the parents and from the child. A simple example of an alienated child's behavior: a child portrays, with no legitimate reason, one parent as "all good" and the other as "all bad". That is at an extreme, and sometimes words like "best" and "worst", or "favorite" are interchanged. This is an example of what an alienated child shows. The preferred parent's behavior usually elicits that behavior. The rejected parent's behavior may not help the situation either.
What matters most when this happens is how the child is formulating this idea. Are they being told that the rejected parent is bad? Are they being given subtle messages to believe that the rejected parent is mean? This is one way how parental alienation can occur and, soon, spontaneously emerging alienating behaviors and alienating verbalizations can be documented. Parental alienation is a serious problem because it can sabotage a parenting plan or child custody visitation arrangements. Remember: when it is possible, it is in the best interests of the child to have both parents in their life. So, if one parent is instigating alienating behaviors in the child, this will can very unfavorable for the custody and visitation rulings. Like most problems in child custody, you have to deal with alienation problems at first by documenting, documenting, documenting. Ideally, this is a phenomenon that should be assessed, documented and written about by a neutral and objective mental health professional in a procedure such as a custody evaluation to try to correct it. Many instances of parental alienation are now understood to be 'hybrid'. This means that long-standing family dynamics, patterns, and styles of functioning have contributed to the alienation. What can you do? There are new treatment interventions for parental alienation. They are all intense treatments. One program by Richard Warshak is called Family Bridges. It is a four day intense treatment intervention. Treatment in your local community can be accomplished with a team of one or more mental health professionals. One treatment model gaining support is called MMFI. This involves multiple therapists, and multiple treatment sessions each week. Treatment for parental alientation is not like traditional therapy. It is educational and draws from many areas of psychology. |