CUSTODY EVALUATION

There is a certain mystery about custody evaluations and how to prepare for them. This mystery is cuased in part through media portrayal, rumors and sometimes through impressions offered by various legal parties. For example, I’ve heard some attorneys say, “That evaluator always goes for the mom” or similarly biased statements. Although there’s always exceptions, I do not believe many of these statements because generally they are not true.

Basics About Custody Evaluators:

A good custody evaluator has an abundance of experience in divorce matters. Be careful not to go to a “generalist” who does this work “on the side”.

Custody Evaluators are neutral professionals, unlike therapists who advocate for their client. Basically, the job of a custody evaluator is to conduct a psychological evaluation in which he collects data, analyzes it and offer opinions in The Best Interests of the Children for child custody and a parenting plan.

Custody Evaluation Components:

1. The DEBRIEFING: You and your spouse should meet separately for an intake with the evaluator. He will explain the procedures of the custody evaluation, and ask you to sign releases of information, consent to participate, and payment agreements.

2. Your INDIVIDUAL EVALUATION: This consists of a) an interview and b) psychological testing to assess your personality and different aspects of your parenting skills.

3. ATTACHMENT or BONDING STUDY: This is either a semi-structured or structured (or both) observation of you and your child. It may be at your home or at the doctor’s office. It usually lasts an hour and the evaluator simply observes and takes notes of your behavior. You may be given a few tasks to complete such as working on a drawing with your child.

4. COLLATERAL CONTACT INTERVIEWS: This refers to all other third-party professionals and extended family members who are involved with your children, yourself or the family. Here’s a list of such people:

Children’s Pediatrician
Children’s Preschool Staff
Children’s Teachers or Principal
Parent’s Medical Doctor
Parent’s Mental Health Provider
Baby-Sitters
Extended Family
Neighbors

5. RECORD REVIEW: This refers to any of the records involved with #4, but also includes e-mails between parents, past mental health treatment, past criminal records, employment records, bank records, legal records, and is essentially unlimited. The more complicated the case, the more records will be requested.

How To Prepare For A Custody Evaluation:

This is the most frequently asked question I help individuals prepare for. There is some general advice I will list below, but each case is unique in its challenges, complexity, and the conflict involved, making preparation a process and not a one-time rehearsal. Don’t Lie. It will be to your own advantage if you are honest. Nothing is worse for an evaluator than hearing story after story that turns out to be untrue after corroboration from additional sources. Lying will reflect poorly on you, at least to some degree. AND, don’t think you won’t get caught in your lie. If something looks suspicious, it will be included in the report- and you don’t want “suspicious” to be associated with your parenting role.

Organize all of your information: records, phone numbers, fax numbers of any records as well as professional or other collateral contacts you think may be requested. This has two advantages: a) It prevents wasting time and b) it saves you money because the evaluator does not have to do it. Organize everything in a binder and take it to a copy center; then you can simply hand it to the evaluator.

STOP WORRYING

Find something to deal with the stress-engage in a sport, hobby, or some form of entertainment that helps you relax. Being at your best is critically important on the days you go to court or have your evaluation. You need to unwind from the tension the whole process creates for you. Sitting at home worrying about the events and thier outcome is not at all helpful or productive.