CO-PARENTING

Cooperative-Parenting or parent-coordination is just what it sounds like. It is the parents' ability to cooperate with each other about the many parenting responsibilities, tasks, routines and post-divorce changes.

Co-parenting is not easy. It is likely that if you are reading this page you are experiencing difficulty with an unreasonable partner. Assuming that you have already attempted the obvious steps of not being defensive, using good communication and being flexible, here are some possible interventions.

Here in Connecticut, we do not have such professionals in our court system. Thus, the alternatives for this type of professional usually involve working with a psychologist, mediator, or therapist who has specific experience addressing these issues.

Although you may already be working with a family therapist, or your child may be working with an individual therapist, these professionals may not have the experience or training to effectively deal with your divorce and the unique challenges that it brings. Only you know how complicated your divorce and custody matters have been and continue to be!

Co-parenting usually involves regular weekly (or twice weekly in the beginning) one to two hour meetings to discuss with both parents the issues of disagreement. It is the parent-coordinator's job to help identify a solution to that. These co-parenting solutions usually require compromise on both sides, unless one person is being completely unreasonable. A solution may include using new software that, for instance, organizes family's schedules. This allows both parents to talk and may be all that is needed to reach a solution.

Often post-divorce matters takes a change when their is a new marriage or a new girlfriend or boyfriend in the picture. Cooperative parenting can take a sharp downturn due to jealousy or to changes in the routine. Change is not easy, and using a professional can help through this transition.