CO-PARENTING

Co-Parenting, sometimes called cooperative parenting, or parent-coordination is just what it sounds like. It is the parents ability to cooperate with the many parenting responsibilities, tasks, routines, and post-divorce changes.

Co-parenting is not easy. Chances are if you are reading this page you are experiencing difficulty with an unreasonable partner. Assuming that you have already attempted the obvious steps of not being defensive, using good communication, and being flexible, let's jump right into some possible interventions.

Problems with Co-parenting can be addressed several ways. Some states have parent-coordinators (Massachusetts)whose primary task is to assist conflicted couples parent their children after a divorce in a peaceful manner.

Here in Connecticut we do not have such professionals in our court system. Thus, the alternatives for working with this type of professional usually involve working with a psychologist, mediator, or therapist who has specific experience working with these issues.

You may already be working with a family therapist, or your child may be working with an individual therapist, but those professionals may not have the experience or training to effectively deal with your divorce and the unique challenges that it brings. Only you know how complicated your divorce and custody matters were and continue to be!

Co-parenting usually involves regular weekly (or twice weekly in the beginning) one to two hour meetings to discuss with both parents the issues of disagreement. It is the parent-coordinator's job to help identify a solution to that. These co-parenting solutions usually require compromise on both sides, unless one person is being completely unreasonable. (Usually one parent is!) Clever interventions which can be used for organizing the children's schedules sometimes use new software that allows both parents to communicate with each other without having to talk. This may be all it needs to take to reach a solution.

Often post-divorce matters takes a change when their is a new marriage or a new girlfriend or boyfriend in the picture. Cooperative parenting can take a sharp turn due to jealousy, or change's in the routine. Change is not easy, and using a professional can help through this transition.