CHILD CUSTODY CONSULTS

What is a child custody consult for a parent? First, it is not treatment. Consulting is educational in nature with the goal of assisting you consider a complete range of options for your concerns. Parent education, discussion of parenting plans and development psychology, and explanation of mental health issues are basic common requests.

Almost everyone with whom I work basically is facing either a serious problem or a serious conflict in their pending child custody dispute. Here are some examples of issues I have worked on:

Modifying a parenting plan
Relocation attempts by a parent
Parental Alienation concerns
Parent with a mental illness
Parent with an alcohol or drug problem
Domestic violence or psychological abuse
False allegations of abuse
Unreasonable expectations by one parent
Parents afraid of trial

The common thread in these and many other circumstances is that it becomes impossible to communicate.

1) Help parents see through the conflicts and correctly assess the problems;
2) Strategize about how to overcome the problems and conflict without increasing them;
3) Assist parents in responding appropriately and provide solutions for complex situations;
4) Restore balance to the family when possible;
5) Focus all of the above on the best interests of the child.

I personally like to utilize a team approach. I work with the parent, often their attorney, and sometimes the guardian ad litem (GAL).

Phase I

The first step of consulting is accomplished through a meeting or conversation. This is an information-gathering session. We outline your concerns and issues, I analyze them, and we pin-point specific problem areas and establish a strategy for dealing with each of them.

Phase II

The next step is introducing and monitoring the interventions. We accomplish this mostly through e-mail correspondence, some telephone conferences and usually a lot of time in between. In the beginning, I commonly have several brief telephone or e-mail conversations, but that tends to drop dramatically after the first month--unless matters get worse. We work together consistently until all of the issues have been resolved.

Phase III

The final step is resolution, which either comes peacefully through a settlement, or aggressively through a trial. For peaceful endings, my work with clients ends here. For trial clients, we enter a new kind of work called trial preparation. In this role I may work with your attorney, or recommend someone else to you who can work with your attorney. Here are brief outlines of a number of interventions for trial preparation:

Witness Preparation No-one likes to be on the witness stand. Therefore, we rehearse using a technique called stress inoculation. The basic premise of inoculation is as follows: if you are exposed to something you are afraid of again and again, then it loses its threat. By rehearsing questions, touching on emotional topics and responses, you as a parent learn to tolerate the experience of being on the witness stand and are able to tell your story effectively.

Deposition & Cross-Examination Preparation This work is mainly orchestrated through involvement with your attorney. It is likely that a fair number of witnesses are going to be called upon. Some to testify in your favor and some to testify against you. At least, that's the way it comes across. Through deposition and cross-examination preparation, I assist your attorney by drafting relevant questions for witnesses specifically on mental health issues.

For example, if the custody evaluation was done with no forensic methodology, we can address that issue with some very focused questions on those weaknesses. If a therapist is testifying who came to unreasonable conclusions, we can also address those weaknesses effectively.