CHILD CUSTODY COACHING

What is child custody coaching?

First let me say, that everyone I work with "as a rule of thumb" is facing either a serious problem or a serious conflict in their divorce and the pending child custody dispute. Let me list some examples in cases I have worked with:

Parent with a mental illness
Parent with an alcohol or drug problem
Domestic violence or psychological abuse
False allegations of abuse
Unreasonable expectations by one parent
Parents afraid of trial

The common thread in these any many other circumstances is that it becomes impossible to communicate.

OBJECTIVES FOR MY CLIENTS:

1) Help parents see through the conflicts and correctly asssess the problems.
2) Strategize how to overcome the problems and conflict without increasing it.
3) Assist parents respond appropriately and provide solutions for complex situations.
4) Restore balance to the family when possible.

HOW WE WORK TOGETHER

I utilize a coaching and team approach. I work with the parent, thier attorney, and sometimes the guardian ad litem.

Phase I

The first step of coaching is accomplished through a meeting or conversation. This is an information gathering session. We outline your concerns and issues, I analyze them, and we pin-point specific problem areas and establish a strategy for dealing with each of them.

Phase II

The next step is introducing and monitoring the interventions. We accomplish this mostly through e-mail correspondence, some telephone conferences, and usually a lot of time in between. In the beginning I commonly have several brief telephone or e-mail conversations, but that tends to drop dramatically after the first month--unless matters get worse. We work together consistently until all of the issues are resolved.

Phase III

The final step is resolution, which either comes peacefully through a settlement, or aggressively through a trial. For peaceful endings, my work with clients ends here. For trial clients, we enter a new kind of work called trial preparation. There are number of interventions I will briefly outline for trial preparation:

Witness Preparation No one likes to get on the witness stand. So we rehearse using a technique called innoculation. If your're exposed to something scary enough times, it stops being scary is the basic premise, and by rehearsing questions, emotional topics, and responses, parents learn to tolerate the experience of being on the witness stand and being able to tell your side of the story effectively.

Deposition & Cross-Examination Preparation This work is mainly orchestrated through my involvement with your attorney. Chances are a fair number of witnesses are going to be called upon. Some to testify in your favor and some to testify against you. At least that's the way it comes across. Through deposition and cross-examination preparation, I assist your attorney by drafting questions that can tip the scale in your favor. For example, if the custody evaluation was poorly done, or unfavorable we can address that issues with some very strong questions. If there is a therapist testifying who came to inappropriate conclusions, we can also address that effectively. I think you get the picture, but trials are very nasty and it takes an all-out effort for results. This is one of my greatest skills.